Birthday blues.... So, some people really get it huh?! While I had the same feeling of solitude and fear before my birthday last year, I put it down to the fact that I was going through something at that time that's why I didn't pay much attention to it. But to feel the same way now two weeks before my birthday? It can only be the birthday blues.
I love birthdays. I look forward to celebrating my birthday every year. Over the years, I have celebrated my birthdays in different ways. From a simple dinner at home to a week holiday in Europe. And the best thing is I never had to work on my birthday in the last 14 years. Not that I am special but it's my day so I should be off.
I believe I have lived a good life in the last 39 years (almost). Although I also had to go through some painful experiences, still I am blessed to get to where I am now. Reflecting on my life right now, I honestly don't have any excuse to cry for no reason and lose some sleep over nothing. I mean, I may not have everything that I ever wanted at 39, but it's not the end of the world. I have a lifetime to make all my dreams into reality. And yeah, I may be turning 39 in two weeks, but with how I look? I wouldn't mind being almost 40. Ha, I didn't mean to say that. What I am trying to say is that I have my family and friends who love me dearly and unconditionally. I have a job that I enjoy and I work with the most amazing people others can only wish for. To top it off, I work at one of the best hospitals in the UK, across two of the most famous landmarks in London. I spend a lot of time with someone who makes me happy and who is unintentionally trying to make me believe (again) that maybe there is a happy ending (or even #forever) after all (well, let's hope there is for me anyway). So, what is this emotion all about? I really don't know.
All I know is that retail therapy might actually help me get through this birthday blues. I don't even mean literally. I can just window shop or browse on the internet and pin whatever tickles my fancy. And so I made this birthday wishlist on Pinterest. I have never done this before because I really never bought myself anything for my birthday - I think. And I never really obliged my family and friends to buy me anything either. But maybe this year, I will. Haha.
So here's my list:
1. That light blue Stripe Pleat Sleeve by Nichole Ciotti for Kingdom and State, $39.50
- I have been looking for the perfect blue top for Keith's birthday this year. And when I saw this top on instagram, I knew I found it. I am still contemplating whether to buy it or not though because I really don't need it.
2. Combined City Bag with Buckle from Zara, 49.99 GBP
- This I certainly don't need but I would love to have one. Just because.
3. That Nikon 1 J1 or J2 camera (it doesn't really matter what J it is). Available at Amazon, 219.99 GBP
- My Lumix finally gave up before I left the Philippines in January this year. I tried to revive it, but honestly after more than 25,000 photos I guess it deserved a rest. I have not had a camera since. I mean it has been okay but recently I have started visiting places again and found a new passion in photography so I guess it's fair enough to say that I need a new camera? Especially because I am going to start traveling soon again. Pretty, please?!
4. Assymetric Wrap Shift Dress, Topshop 39 GBP
- Not exactly the Little Black Dress that I am dreaming of, but I saw this on my friend and I absolutely loved it. I may not have the body for it though.
5. Black Saffron by Byredo, 70-130 GBP (or at Liberty's)
- One of my friends introduced me to this perfume not long ago. We were at Liberty's and he asked if we could look for a perfume. As soon as I opened the sample bottle, I knew I have potentially found my soon to be signature smell. ***wish, ***wish
6. White Leigh Skinny Jeans, Topshop 38 GBP
- I have this top that I know will look good on a white pair of skinny jeans. I actually no longer have any sort of white jeans because I have outgrown them all. If I can have this for my birthday, I would really be so happy.
7. Easel, Cassart 54.50 GBP
- There is actually a cheaper one on sale, but this one I think looks better. Really, I need to get on with my painting. I plan to paint on a bigger canvas, hence the need of a bigger easel.
8. A Tiffany & Co Necklace, 100-240 GBP (my price range)
- I had the one with a circle pendant but I lost it about a month ago and still not over it yet as it was my first ever Tiffany & Co necklace and it was a gift from an old friend. I would really love to buy one for my birthday.
9. Nude Court Shoes, House of Fraser 29 GBP
- This pair of shoes is on sale. I actually have a pair of nude court shoes already, but I want one for everyday use. A pair of shoes that won't hurt me (and my pocket) that much even if it gets murdered.
And that's it. I will probably buy at least two of the things from my list, but we'll see. They are all really nice to have, but perhaps there are more important things that I need right now. Like getting over this birthday blues.
And for you out there who gets the birthday blues, this song is for you...