When You Become A Reason Someone Stays

Sunday, 16 June 2019

As a part of my routine reflection, I often ask myself why am I still where I am - personally and professionally. My personal life has been far from perfect, but I believe that I am exactly where I am meant to be. In fact, the last few weeks have been quite tough, but I will not have my life any other way. Professionally, it has been a massive roller coaster ride since day one. It has been very draining, physically and emotionally. To be quite honest, I don't know how I survived the first 15 months at work. I didn't have any managerial experience, let alone experience in dealing with challenging people in the work place, and all I did in my first year of tenancy at work was exactly that. Saying that though, I've had plenty of  experience in dealing with challenging people personally, so perhaps that was my weapon because seventeen months later, I am still here standing on my two feet fighting really hard to make things work.

Is the fight really worth it though? Yes I believe so, in one aspect of my job at least. 

People stay in their jobs for different reasons. As I said before, I have met people who desperately wanted to leave their jobs but couldn't because their shifts worked better with childcare, they were scared of change because it meant they had to start over again, they became too comfortable that even the mere thought of leaving became an instant inconvenience, and they constantly asked the question "what if" because let's face it, it's not always greener on the other side. 

In my case, I am staying in my job mainly because of my staff. I am proud to say that my staff are genuinely very nice people and very good professionals. They are in no way perfect, but most of them are the best colleagues I have ever worked with in my entire nursing career. I have not worked in an environment before, where almost everyone is genuinely kind. Of course, apart from my volunteer work when I was in New Zealand. The fact that I am loving every challenge that is being thrown at me, is only secondary. And whatever positive changes and difference that I have made in the last 17 months are just part of the job.

And whilst my reason for staying is because of my people, I never expected that someone would actually stay for me.

A few weeks ago, I took one of my staff in the office for some reason I can no longer recall. Ultimately, our conversation was drawn into the topic of why she was still with us. Her answer was, "Because of you. I want to help you". I was taken aback when I heard her say this. I honestly didn't know what to say. Never in my life did I ever think that someone would actually sacrifice their own happiness for me. What have I actually done to deserve this from such a sensible woman who is very much capable of making good decisions, and who could easily leave and find a better place where she can be truly happy in the workplace? Instead, she chose to stay for me. This is honestly the most humbling compliment I have ever receive from anyone at work. 

Needless to say that I value this staff very much with all my heart. She is one of my most treasured staff and I wouldn't be where I am as a manager without her help. She has contributed so much in the success of our department and I am so grateful for this. It is such a blessing indeed to have her in my team.

I know I have previously said that we go to work to do a job and not to make friends, but I soon realised that it is important that we make allies at work. The workplace is one, if not the most stressful place to be in and therefore, it is paramount that we have at least one or two people whom we can trust. I don't know about you, but there has been a few times when stress almost got the better of me, and the only thing that have saved me was speaking to my "confidantes" at work. Sometimes just speaking to someone who genuinely have the ears and the heart to listen really help a lot- to keep you focused and most importantly, to preserve your mental health. 

It is important to feel and know that at work, you are not alone. However, it is also equally important, or even more important to make your staff or your colleagues feel and know that they are not alone. Always make them feel that they can talk to you, and that someone is always willing to lend a listening ear. Because just being there to listen can change every negative feeling. Besides, it is only through listening that you can better understand other people. So, always make time to listen.

TIN x

That Worthy Weekend In Dublin

Friday, 7 June 2019

My memory of my first ever trip to Dublin some 15 years ago is such a blur that all I remember is standing outside Malahide Castle on a cold, wet and dark winter night, reluctantly having my photograph taken by someone I didn't even consider my friend at that time. The second time was all about St Valentine's relics at the Whitefriar Street Church with someone romantic but completely out of my life now. The last time I went to Dublin before this recent trip was sometime in 2011, with a group of girls seemingly enjoying my company until I found out that they never liked me in the first place. Suffice it to say that I fell out with everyone I travelled to Dublin with, except for one particular person- Arcel.

I first met Arcel in university more than twenty years ago,  but we were only in one class together, and we were never friends. The second time was in Germany, where I would formally meet her. Before our trip to Germany, one of the girls was quite pessimistic and warned me that it was not easy to befriend Arcel because apparently, she was a "bratinella" and sneered at people all the time. So, she said she would be surprised if we would get along well. Although I kept this information at the back of my mind, I was (and still am) not one of those who will judge people based on what other people have said about them. And with Arcel, I am really glad that I gave myself the chance to get to know her better because after eight years, our friendship is stronger and deeper than ever. 

And so in May, I went back to Dublin for only one reason- to spend time with Arcel whom I have not seen in two years. It was a real bonus that I was also able to play with her adorable son and catch up with her very kind husband again (albeit briefly as he had to go to work)

I arrived in Dublin just before half past ten in the morning. It was quite windy and cold but the warmth in Arcel's smile when I saw her at the airport made it all better for me. We drove straight to lunch where little J and JB were waiting. I love these people as they are one of the most down to earth people I know. Despite their high social status in the Philippines, their feet are firmly on the ground. 

Lunch was at Anderson's Creperie. Their galettes are to die for. I ordered the "All Day Breakfast Galette" which was scrumptious to say the least. It was a big serving but I devoured it effortlessly. It was that light. Then for dessert, we had the pavlova which melted in the mouth- one of the most unforgettable desserts I've had. 
Andersons Creperie
1A Carlingford Road
Drumcondra, Dublin 9, Ireland

After lunch, Arcel and I headed to town for a quick walk. It was not a touristy walk, but I requested to pass by Temple Bar area to check where my J used to live (he lived in Dublin for almost three years). We then came across Molly Malone's statue in Suffolk Street. Molly Malone is actually a song about a lady who was a vendor by day and prostitute by night. 

It was as if the food we had at the Andersons didn't fill us up that we ended up having another strawberry tartlet at Le Petit Parisien in Wicklow St. The thing is, no matter how full I am sometimes, I always manage to find a space for good food. I would recommend this cafe and their strawberry tartlet to anyone visiting Dublin.

Everything that happened after our quick trip to town was pure bliss. I was treated with some classical piano music by our talented little J and was completely entertained by his wit and humour. He also beat me in scrabble by more than hundred points. Our little J is incredibly intelligent, however what makes me really proud of this young boy is the fact that he is well-mannered and has a good heart. He is simply an awesome kid. Then there was Charlotte, their rescue dog. I honestly don't know if I have ever taken a dog for a walk, but the experience with Charlotte is definitely something that I will always remember. It was very therapeutic more than anything. Add to that my heart to heart conversation with Arcel during the walk. Priceless.

It was indeed a very short visit to Dublin, but it was one of those weekends well spent. You see, I may not have many friends now but those I have chosen to keep are those who are definitely worthy of my precious time. I will cross the ocean just to be spend time with friends who sustain me and help me become a better person. The reality is that in this age of superficiality, where a lot of people seem to think that worldly possessions define you as person, you need to surround yourself with people who can add value to your life not through material things but through wisdom, trust, strong principles and moral righteousness. Those people who can influence you in positive ways, who can draw you in an intellectually stimulating conservation, who can empower you to achieve your goals and remind you to always keep your feet on the ground. When you find these people, never let them go for they are the people worth keeping.

TIN x 

Focusing On Life's Blossoms Rather Than Its Lemons

Sunday, 7 April 2019

In my mind,I have created three blog entries since last month but none of them were actually written because I couldn't find the right motivation to spend even a few minutes on my laptop. To be honest, life has been pretty tough emotionally in the last two months. I was and still is being pushed to my emotional limit constantly by people whom I have invested so much time and effort in, and people whom I expected to be at least grateful for what I am trying to do just to make them happy. I feel like everything that I am doing is a big mistake, and that I should be blamed for it? I may sound vague but I don't think I am ready to elaborate on this topic just yet, so this is as far as I want to talk about it right now. Besides, life has been throwing lemons at me consistently since 2012, and I have managed to throw them back like a true warrior of life. So, why should it be different now? After all, things can always get worse. And for this reason, I am going to write about blossoms instead. 

Blossoms have always been one of those things that truly bring instant joy and positivity into my life. It was however, not until before I turned forty that I decided to pursue my dream of visiting a massive sunflower field in Italy. Since then, I have been in constant look out for parks and places where I can find beautiful flowers in and outside London. Spring is finally here and so are the beautiful blossoms all over London. This means that the search for the beautiful blossoms has also commenced. In my case, it was two weeks ago when my good friend Pearl and I visited a couple of places to get my blossom fix. 

Our first stop was Greenwich Park, however, we were too early and only managed to see one magnolia tree in bloom. Apparently, it is around early April when the cherry blossoms start to bloom. Perhaps a good reason to travel all the way back? Maybe. 

Determined to see some beautiful blossoms that day, we headed to Holland Park. Here, we were able to see more blossoms. We then walked to Notting Hill where blossoms appeared in every corner.

The truth is that, I really didn't have go that far to find beautiful flowers. Right in my neighbourhood is St James's Park, where the best of spring in London can be found. I took  photos of the beautiful blossoms during one of my morning runs last month- one thing that I was not able to do around this time last year because it was still bitterly cold. 

If you don't know already, flowers are scientifically proven to improve emotional health. So, if you are caught in the same situation as me, where challenges are constant and people are deterrent to your complete happiness, go find those blossoms that can trigger positive emotions.

TIN x

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