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And So, Career-Break Is Finally Over

Last week when I reminded J that I only had one week left before I go back to work, he told me not to get too excited because I would miss my freedom. He was right. Today is officially the last day of my career-break and already, I am missing my freedom. The big changes that are about to come are honestly daunting, but I am confident that my experiences and learnings in the last twelve months  will help me deal with this anticipated "new normal" no matter how challenging it will be. Besides, I think I have prepared myself for this transition. Well, sort of. The thing is, I really don't want to try too hard to make my return to work really work. After all, I am going back to my old job and will be working with the same people. Also, everyone has reassured me that there is nothing to be worried about because nothing has really changed. But the fact of the matter is that, I had a very intimidating experience when I started with this job three years ago,  and I just don't want to go through that again. I want this whole experience to be enjoyable this time because at the end of the day, I have earned  my position and I think I deserve to be there. So really, why should I be worried, right?

Anyway, there are certain things that I will really miss when I go back to work. In the last three months, we've been quite lucky to have been given the chance to be together everyday despite the fact that J is working. Those random conversations about trivial matters throughout the day are one of those things that I treasure because it's not everyday that every couple is fortunate enough to do that. Also, sharing home-made lunch with J is one of those things that I really enjoyed the most. 

Besides J-related things, I am also going to miss my morning coffee run. Almost everyday since we moved into our flat, I have been buying coffee from the local cafe around the corner. I became friendly with the delightful staff so every now and again, I get a free coffee or sometimes pastry. I will miss watching how they make our coffee in different ways, and definitely our chit-chats in between.

Believe it or not but I am going to miss the mundane things like cleaning our bathroom everyday, generally tidying up our flat compulsively and running some errands any time of the day. Ah, gym. I'm really not sure what to do with gym when I go back to work. I used to go between 9-10am, when all the 9-5ers have left for work because I am selfish and I want the gym to myself when I am working out. I actually went to the gym at 5 o'clock in the morning last Monday to see if it's going to work. It shocked my system to say the least, and I felt quite unwell afterwards. So, now I'm not sure. I'm definitely not keen to work out  after work because I know it's going to be crazy. But whatever. 

Above all else, I think it really is  my freedom that I am going to miss the most. For a year, I had so much time in my hand to do whatever I want. There were times when I've done bugger all and it felt just as satisfying as when I was  productive.

Honestly, I am dreading the thought that from tomorrow, my life will revolve around schedules once again. But the silver lining is that, I am finally going to regain my identity back and will soon be financially independent again! 

So yeah, wish me luck as I continue with what was put on hold a year ago. I don't know if professionally I am better but rest assured, I am a changed person and I know that I am better than I was before. 

TIN x
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