For Keith's 18th Birthday In Heaven

On the 17th of August, Keith would have been 18 and amazing. Unfortunately, he was not here to celebrate with us, nor for me to witness how he would have grown up to be a very fine young man. Whilst I used to cry on days like this, I now remember my wonderful child with a smile in my heart because I truly believe (finally) that he is in a much better place now. It took a life-changing situation for me to realise this. I never stopped questioning God why He took my child too soon, but as years went by, the reasons became more and more apparent to me. Keith was so pure and didn't deserve to witness any of the heartaches that we had to go through. I guess it is safe to say that I am more at peace with his passing now than I ever was because of this.

Although I was on holiday on Keith's birthday, I made sure not to break my birthday routine for him. So I went to a nearby church and lit up a candle. I played his favourite song "Lighters" on my way to the church. Needless to say, I was wearing his favourite colour blue. Unfortunately, I had to leave Meowmeow in London in fear of losing him.

When I went back to the hotel, I received a photo that truly pierced my heart. I think the photo is the most poignant photo that I have seen of my mother in a long time. Saying that, it felt good to finally see her doing her own thing, especially for Keith.

One of my biggest fears when Keith left has been the fact that people might eventually forget about him. Perhaps most people have by now, but the most important thing is that the people closest to him never forget.

As part of my routine, I also donated blood in memory of Keith. I do this twice a year now- on Keith's death anniversary and his birthday.

Looking at Keith's friends' photos and videos on social media somehow gives me a glimpse of how he would have been as an 18 year-old young man. Perhaps, he would have remained shy and quiet but never embarrassed to show his mighty talents. But one thing is for sure, he would have remained that kind-hearted, polite and gentle young boy.

Ah, I miss this boy so much. But no matter how hard it is sometimes, I take comfort in knowing that he was indeed a wonderful child. This boy has done so many inspiring things at such a young age and therefore, will remain in our hearts forever. He will be loved and remembered for the rest of our lives.

I will always love you, my dear Keith.

TIN x

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