7 Years: Remembering The Child Who Inspired Me To Be A Better Person

Seven years have gone by really quickly. It's been that long since I lost my beloved Keith. Whilst I have been better emotionally in the past three years, last night I couldn't hold back my tears. Partly because I was watching a documentary on the Holocaust (and then watched "The Boy in Striped Pyjamas" after). It was truly heartbreaking. 

The pain of losing someone you love is indescribable. More so if they were a child. Your life goes on after losing them, but somewhere deep in your heart, you know your life will never be the same again. There will always be that hole, that empty space that you know will forever be unfilled. This is exactly where I am since I lost Keith. But despite this painful reality, I continue to do things to remember him- to try and fill in the void, even temporarily because this is how I find comfort. Doing things for Keith certainly helped me moved on from his passing. 

And so, as per tradition, I started my day by lighting up a candle for Keith. I held his favourite toy Meowmeow in my arms and kissed his nose repeatedly- one thing that Keith did whilst thumb-sucking (when he was younger). Then I said a little prayer, before I played his favourite song Lighters by Eminem. This has been my painful tradition twice a year- on Keith's death anniversary which is today, and his birthday which is the 17th of August. 

I wore blue because this was Keith's favourite colour. Then this afternoon, I went to give blood for the 6th time in his memory. I am glad that I finally managed to give blood on the exact day of his angelversary. I have always wanted to do something amazing in Keith's memory because he deserves to be remembered this way. This is why I am very grateful and proud that I am able to honour him by giving back.

Meanwhile back home, my mother, my cousins and my niece visited Keith's grave this morning. In the afternoon, they had a small gathering at home to commemorate Keith's passing.

Although there has been a major change in our household last year, this didn't and will never stop us from doing things that make the 28th of January a K Lighter Day. We remain united in remembering the boy who continues to inspire us in so many ways. 

In fact, I often ask myself whether I would have been this strong if I didn't lose Keith, and the answer is always- perhaps I wouldn't have. Keith is the reason why I have more patience and listen more to people. He is the reason why I am better at managing my anger. He is the reason why I am more understanding and considerate of other people. His passing became my strongest weapon - to rise above all the challenges and to be a better person.

Keith will always be remembered. He will forever be loved by those who knew him, and he is sorely missed.

TIN x

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