At 42: It's The Little Things That Matter
A few weeks ago, I almost had an emotional breakdown. I was perhaps having birthday blues or I was just genuinely feeling down. I felt like nothing was going right in my life, although I knew that wasn't true. I tried very hard to be positive. To see the good in the bad. To be my old optimistic self. But I was struggling. At one point, I thought I was losing life's battles. For once in my life, after all that I have been through, everything seemed too much to bear.
I had to desperately do something to combat those negative feelings because I knew I could do better. It took me a few days to finally realise what was missing and what was causing me to feel so weak emotionally. Then it dawned on me that it was indeed my lack of appreciation for the little things in life that precipitated all the negativity. I am a human being after all, because I almost gave in to life's pressures and the nearly impossible standards that the current world we live in has set for all of us to achieve- either willingly or forcibly.
And whilst I can't deny that I often feel insecure because at 42, I am still not married, remain childless and not yet a home-owner, I take refuge in the fact that I am gifted with the three important attributes that I believe most people don't have: resilience, patience and wisdom.
Therefore, as I face another year of a blessed life, I made a promise to be more thankful, first and foremost, for the little things because they really are what matter the most.
1. The opportunity to spend everyday with someone who is a constant reminder that I have everything that I need in this life.
2. The couple of good friends in London who are always genuinely happy to spend time with me.
3. A friend who calls me randomly only to remind me how remarkable I am as a person and how she admires my positivity, patience and strength.
4. A distant niece who never fails to checks up on me and whom I can share anything under the sun with.
5. My sister from another mother whom I may not get to talk to frequently, but has always been a constant in my life.
6. That one person at work I can share my frustrations with without being judged.
7. Those random motivational speeches I deliver in the middle of the nurses' station at random times that bring laughter to my staff and make some of them say, "amen".
8. That reassurance from my boss that I don't need to worry because I am doing great.
9. That genuine appreciation from my deputy.
10. Being nominated "Team Player of the Month" twice in a row.
11. That I am able to walk to and from work, avoiding the very stressful "tube life".
12. Having my own office despite being smaller than our bathroom.
13. Having a rented flat next to Chinatown.
14. Free coffee from our local cafe almost every weekend.
15. Having a good route for my morning runs.
16. The convenience of having weights, kettle bells and a barbell at home.
17. Eating good food.
18. Our bath being mould-free.
19. Cooking in my favourite pan from my dream cookware manufacturer.
20. Making fresh orange juice from my dream juicer.
And then there are the little big things of course:
1. J for being the person that he is.
2. My family- because despite being broken by the recent trial we had to go through, I believe we remain united.
3. My job- no matter how challenging it is to deal with some of the people I work with.
4. J's family for being so kind to me.
I know sometimes when we are faced with adversity, it often seems difficult to find anything that can help us overcome it. What I learned from writing this blog entry is that, actually, it is possible to draw strength from the mundane things we do and see everyday and there are a lot of them. In fact, I could have written more. All we need to do is to learn how to appreciate the little things around us- because no matter how small these things are right now, one day something will happen that will remind us that in fact, they were the big things.
TIN x
5. My sister from another mother whom I may not get to talk to frequently, but has always been a constant in my life.
6. That one person at work I can share my frustrations with without being judged.
7. Those random motivational speeches I deliver in the middle of the nurses' station at random times that bring laughter to my staff and make some of them say, "amen".
8. That reassurance from my boss that I don't need to worry because I am doing great.
9. That genuine appreciation from my deputy.
10. Being nominated "Team Player of the Month" twice in a row.
11. That I am able to walk to and from work, avoiding the very stressful "tube life".
12. Having my own office despite being smaller than our bathroom.
13. Having a rented flat next to Chinatown.
14. Free coffee from our local cafe almost every weekend.
15. Having a good route for my morning runs.
16. The convenience of having weights, kettle bells and a barbell at home.
17. Eating good food.
18. Our bath being mould-free.
19. Cooking in my favourite pan from my dream cookware manufacturer.
20. Making fresh orange juice from my dream juicer.
And then there are the little big things of course:
1. J for being the person that he is.
2. My family- because despite being broken by the recent trial we had to go through, I believe we remain united.
4. J's family for being so kind to me.
I know sometimes when we are faced with adversity, it often seems difficult to find anything that can help us overcome it. What I learned from writing this blog entry is that, actually, it is possible to draw strength from the mundane things we do and see everyday and there are a lot of them. In fact, I could have written more. All we need to do is to learn how to appreciate the little things around us- because no matter how small these things are right now, one day something will happen that will remind us that in fact, they were the big things.
TIN x
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