Three Years On, My Angel

I finally went home after three years. Three years since Keith left us. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel when I visited his new place on earth.  I couldn't believe that it has been that long. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. How I wish he was still here. It was not the same anymore. He was missed.

And because it was Keith's third year in heaven on the 28th of January, it was K Lighter Day. This year, I no longer expected much because I know that someday somehow people will no longer participate in our K Lighter Days, or worse they will forget. It is now my job to keep Keith's legacy so he will not be forgotten by many. But then again, even if he is going to be forgotten by other people, we, his family will never ever forget him. We will continue to remember him everyday of our lives, not just on K Lighter Days.

I woke up really early that day partly because I was still jet-lagged. I lit Keith's candle as soon as I got up and played "Lighters". I also read the Bible, one thing that I have not done in a long while. And then of course I wore blue, his favourite colour.

I feel blessed that even if it's been three years, some of my friends still celebrated K Lighter Day with me. Some of my friends sent me early texts saying that they were thinking of me. Some of them made an extra effort to do one or two of the 12 ways on how to make the 28th of January a K Lighter Day.

My friend Blossom who has not failed to celebrate K Lighter Day played "Sugar" by Maroon5 on the piano.

 A friend of mine who is also an angel Mom lit a candle for her son and Keith.

What touched me the most is a message from a friend whom I may not hang out with on a regular basis but holds a special place in my heart. She has always been nice to me since the day I met her. And although oftentimes we only get to smile and  say Hi to each other at work, it is enough for me to know that she is there. Her message actually left me speechless and teary-eyed.
3 years ago today, a friend and inspiration of mine lived through the pain of her beautiful son becoming an angel in the sky.
Today is K-lighter day.
Pagpalain ng Diyos

Back home they had a rushed dinner as no one was able to prepare. My mother was going out of the hospital that day and my sister-in-law picked her up. Speaking of this, something quite weird happened. While I was in the air somewhere between the Philippines and China, my mother was rushed to the hospital. It was the same day and around the same time as when Keith was brought to the hospital. She had an emergency operation for an impending rupture of her appendix. Thanks God she recovered fast from the operation. On Monday she was told that she could go home on Wednesday, the 28th of January. My sister and I got really worried because it was also the day that Keith left us. He was also told that he could go home that day, but he bled and left us forever. You can imagine how scared we were. But we really thank God our mother was discharged fit and well. 

Anyway, another year has passed. As I always say, the pain never goes and you can never move on from the loss of a child. You just learn how to live without them. And over the years you find yourself looking for ways for other people to remember your precious child. Not everyone will understand what you're trying to do. Just understand them for they haven't walked your path.

I hope that somehow you'll always find a reason to have a K Lighter Day even in the darkest of days.

tintin x


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